It’s hard dealing with difficult emotions. No-one likes, what society deems, the negative kind. And sometimes we can actually experience physical manifestations of what we’re feeling inside. But if we acknowledge what we are feeling instead of closing our eyes and wishing the ride were over, we might find that the emotion is just the thing we need to start our journey back to ourselves.
Here we’re going to focus on one basic emotion of seven, identified by psychologist Dr. Paul Ekman… ANGER.
We’ve talked a lot about anger over the last few months as we set to launch a new personal life coaching programme called the Anger Release Motivator. What we’ve been through started with an exploration of what anger is and where it comes from, the importance of recognising your triggers, understanding them, and choosing the most mature response for a positive outcome, turning anger from A Negatively Guided Energy Release into A Nobly Guided Energy Release.
Let’s remember the philosophy that emotions are neither good nor bad, they just are. And an emotion such as anger, if used consciously can be (as we’ve said before) constructive in helping to clarify our needs and motivate us to act. It becomes a problem when it is excessive or expressed in ways that are unhealthy or dangerous, such as through hostile body language and tone of voice, and openly aggressive behaviour, as well as through passive aggressiveness, which is just as hurtful; demonstrated by behaviours such as sarcasm, sulking, avoidance and stubbornness.
It doesn’t matter which form of anger you express; it is important to find out why you feel the need to express your anger in the way you do. We encourage you to go back to the thought and what came into your mind that made you choose to express yourself that way. When you are able to identify the original thought, then you will know whether you are using the emotion as a protective measure or whether you are masking something deeper, even from yourself.
It’s also important to note that as a physical expression, anger has been linked to coronary heart diseases, diabetes and even addiction.
So, how do you recognise subtle angry behaviours in yourself that are not outwardly aggressive or violent? You can look for these signs:
- You are quick to get annoyed, aggravated, frustrated, irritated, impatient, offended, quarrelsome
- You act defiant, devious, dismissive, irrational, mean, nasty, rebellious, spiteful, smug
- You feel bitter, guilty, hurt, jealous, resentful, threatened, unappreciated, wronged
There is a saving grace. Know that there are ways that you can turn your anger on its head, and Quandary Pond can help you achieve this.