Let’s begin by remembering what anger is.
A.N.G.E.R in of itself is neither good nor bad, but rather how it’s used is what makes it so.
It could be seen as A Negatively Guided Energy Release or A Nobly Guided Energy Release.
When we are at our lowest, when we feel we’ve reached rock bottom, anger is what brings back the fight in us so that we can start to feel human again – to feel what it’s like to be alive.
Unfortunately, too many of us remain in this lower level of angry energy, allowing the emotion to increase its power until our sympathetic nervous system kicks in and starts pumping fight hormones (such as adrenaline and cortisol) all around our bodies. This is when you can start to lose control, when your thoughts can change from survival to hatred, blame and revenge.
I think you’ll agree that at this point the emotion of anger is a hinderance to your physical and mental wellbeing, and to your relationships with family, friends and colleagues.
When we learn to use our anger emotion as mature and anger-practiced human beings, we can stop at the point of feeling what it’s like to be alive once again, release the anger by realising anger has an expiry date and step up to a new level of energy that will best serve us for the next phase of our journey.
Whether you bottle your up anger until you blow your top or explode in the first instant, take some time out right now to imagine how different your life would look when you are able to only use anger for its most basic purpose. How much more relaxed are your children’s faces when you release anger before engaging in a negative response? How much more interaction do you receive from friends and colleagues when you are able to remain calm and show emotional maturity when something upsets you?
A helpful way to curb your own anger response on someone else before it gets out of control is to listen to and understand what you are saying so that you can express yourself in a more productive way. You may need to take a breath before continuing to articulate your concern in a polite and civil manner. Anger is a very normal emotion but use it sparingly and only when needed.
In the video below we explore the concept of being aware of how you deal with your anger and how you use it.