You may well be asking yourself
“How the Dickins should I know what each person’s love language is?”
I love that! The fact that you’re asking the question means that you want to find a way to be a better partner, friend or family member yourself! Well done, you!
Firstly, let’s recap…
Words of Affirmation are positive statements that make people feel great. It’s important for yourself because your thoughts are like muscles, the ones you pay attention to are the ones that are going to get stronger. It’s important for others too, it’s important to share that positivity with others.
Quality Time is hugely beneficial to our mental wellbeing, and while alone time helps us discover who we are and what we want in the world, the recent lockdowns have demonstrated just how important spending Quality Time with family and friends is to us too.
Physical Touch is a non-verbal physical expression of love. It communicates emotion, let’s others know that they’re seen and heard, and maintains connection within relationships. It can convey so much without having to utter a word.
Acts of Service create a profound sense of gratitude and love. It’s an acknowledgement of how much someone significant in your life does for you, so why not do what they ask – or better yet – before they ask.
Receiving Gifts, for some, are physical symbols of love that express affection materially. A gift, big or small, may hold a lot of sentimental value to them because it reminds them that they are thought of with love.
So, how can you tell?
In yourself: Observe how you most often express love to others. For instance, if you are regularly doing Acts of Service for others, this may be your Love Language. If you are consistently verbally affirming people, then Words of Affirmation is likely your Love Language.
In others: Listen to what they say, what they request most often and how they express love to others. We all tend to offer affection in the way we want to receive it.
And don’t forget that children have Love Languages too. Different children crave different kinds of attention and affection, and you should know how to communicate it so that they genuinely feel loved.
Still hard to tell? Visit Gary Chapmans The ™ Quiz (5lovelanguages.com) website, take the quiz and get your loved ones to do it too.
Next time you’re in the company of a partner, friend or family member, take note of what they are projecting and how you are responding. It’s a great way to understand not only your partner, friends and family’s primary Love Language, but yours as well.
We’ll say it again, filling someone’s love tank with their primary Love Language isn’t a once-off occurrence. It’s an ongoing demonstration of love and care; in the same way you regularly refuel your car.
Take it into 2022
Why not make discovering your Love Language and your loved ones a new year’s resolution for 2022? Working this into your day-to-day life will serve you well right now and into the future.