Love Languages: Words of Affirmation

20/07/2021by Terry White

Over the past few months we’ve talked a lot about self-love, being kind to yourself and changing your inner dialogue. We hope that by now you are comfortable with hearing the positive words and phrases you say to yourself, because it’s time to move onto sharing that positivity with others.

If you didn’t catch any of our previous blogs this is for you:

What are words of affirmation exactly?

‘Any spoken or written words that confirm, support, uplift, and empathize with another person in a positive manner.’

Why are positive affirmations important?

Positive affirmations for yourself are essential because your thoughts are like muscles, the ones you pay attention to are the ones that are going to get stronger. Your subconscious mind is always listening.

For others, it’ll make them feel great… but it will make you feel great too. And it’ll help to install the habit of hearing the language of love.

We’re not only talking about life partners, but friends, family, acquaintances and strangers too. Words of affirmation may not be their actual love language but being positive and kind goes a long way to discovering what their dominant love language is.

And, of course, your language of love has to be kind. It can only be heart-felt if its genuine. Hearts know, they can feel when its forced and false. Words are just phonetic sounds that we are familiar with, it’s the tone in which words are communicated that gives the words validity.

Be Proactive

From the minute you open your eyes in the morning, look around and find something that makes you smile. Think about the events of the day ahead and the activities that you know you are going to enjoy. Affirm to yourself and your heart just how much this pleases you. Feel your chest expand with excitement.

If you live with someone and have gotten out of the habit of saying “good morning” to them with a broad smile, re-ignite the habit or start a new one.


Be Present

Being ‘in the moment’ allows us to see what is right in front of us, this is when we can choose to appreciate and be grateful for what we have, who is in our lives and how we can live our happiest moments.

When we are present, we are cognisant of our thoughts, our words and our behaviours.


Be Positive

Here are a couple of examples of words of affirmation that you may like to use for yourself and others…

Be Patient

Words of affirmation may not come easily to you. You may not have heard kind and loving words spoken in your home growing up so it’s not natural to you. Be patient with yourself.


A good way to increase your vocabulary in this area is to listen to other people speaking positively to one another or take note when you read an article or book that uses this language. You can also find some colourful post-it notes and write a phrase of affirmation on each one and stick them all around where you will see them daily.

If you’re writing them for yourself, then read them out allowed when you see them.

If you’re writing them for someone else, feel the thrill of them reading your loving words and phrases.


If after these tips and tricks you’re still having trouble Quandary Pond’s Personal Life Coaching can help you instill new behaviours.


There are five love languages. Go to The Love Language™ Quiz ( and take the quiz to see which is yours.



Terry White