The Relationship Series: Changing Your Inner Dialogue

23/06/2021by Terry White

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In his book, What to say when you talk to yourself – Powerful new techniques to programme your potential for success! Shad Helmstetter says, “We believe what we are programmed to believe. Our conditioning, from the day we were born, has created, reinforced, and nearly permanently cemented most of what we believe about ourselves and what we believe about most of what goes on around us. Whether the programming was right or wrong, true or false, the result of it is what we believe.

It all starts with our programming! What we have accepted from the outside world, or fed to ourselves, has initiated a natural cause and effect chain-reaction sequence which cannot fail to lead us to successful self-management, or to the unsuccessful mismanagement of ourselves, our resources, and our futures.”

He then goes on to illustrate the sequence of events that takes us from our initial programming to the results we see in our lives:


So, if you are looking for different results you need to start with changing your programming. Just because its intangible it doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

We can go into hospital and receive a new hip, but the real work happens when we get home and have to exercise the hip to keep it supple and loose. In the same way, when we go to a therapist to help us uncover the root cause of the negative programming, the work doesn’t stop there, the work continues with us needing to choose the positive self-talk that will have an impact on our attitude… which has an impact on our feelings… which has an impact on our actions… which determines our results – no matter what age, stage or location of life we are in.


Here are a few suggestions for changing up your inner dialogue to be more positive:

You will notice that none of these are a lie. They are all truthful to some extent, so you are not trying to fool your brain with words and phrases that are completely unreal. They are all quite believable.

Usual NEGATIVE self-talkSwitch to POSITIVE self-talk
I mustn’t forget to take my keysI must remember to take my keys.
I don’t know how to…How can I…?
I feel like the odd one outI am unique
I’m nervousI’m excited
I’m so worriedI’m contemplating
This is so hardThis is a bit of a challenge
I’m useless with technologyI’m still learning technology
It’s (the thought) gone out of my headIt’ll (the thought) come back to me
I’m so clumsyI can be graceful
I’m so stupidI choose to do better
I feel so uglyI am a beautiful soul
I’m no good at anythingI am good at some things.

* Download our printable poster on changing your inner dialogue here

Do you resonate with this? Get in touch – let’s have a chat.

Have a great day and watch what you say! 😊

Terry White